<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Safety by TherapyBard</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29903292">Safety</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TherapyBard/pseuds/TherapyBard'>TherapyBard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, Caleb Widogast-centric, Critical Role Spoilers, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Gen, Mild Suicide Ideation, POV Beauregard Lionett, POV Caduceus Clay, POV Caleb Widogast, POV Nott | Veth Brenatto, Panic Attacks, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Self-Loathing Caleb Widogast, Warning: Trent Ikithon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:54:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29903292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TherapyBard/pseuds/TherapyBard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events of episode 128, the Might Nein takes the time to calm down and help Caleb cope with recent events.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett &amp; Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Caduceus Clay &amp; Caleb Widogast, Caleb Widogast &amp; Yasha, Fjord &amp; Caleb Widogast, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre &amp; Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre &amp; Marion Lavorre | Ruby of the Sea, Luc Brenatto &amp; Nott | Veth Brenatto, Nott | Veth Brenatto &amp; Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein &amp; Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>164</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Safety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: Dissociation, PTSD, discussion of Caleb's past (child abuse, brainwashing, torture).</p><p>Huge Spoilers for the most recent episode!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veth felt her feet land roughly on solid ground. She helped Yeza keep his footing as he landed beside her in the other dimension. Relief flooded her. Astrid let them go. They were all safe far from Trent’s reach.</p><p>The heat hit her next.</p><p>She let go of Yeza’s hand to tear her coat off, as well as her other winter gear. Once that was done, the heat was shockingly tolerable. Distracting, yes, but nothing dangerous. The others formed a pile of their disregarded layers.</p><p>“Veth, what… What's the plan here?” Yeza asked, an unmistakable layer of fear in his voice. “Are we okay? Can we get home from here?”</p><p>“Yeah, our magic people just need to rest and then-” For the first time, she looked at their surroundings. A stream of lava surrounded their rock island. It flowed about 10 feet below the top of their rock. “We’ll get out of here soon. I promise. And we'll explain what’s going on soon, too. I know you’re probably confused. I’m so sorry I got you into this.”</p><p>“It’s okay.” Yeza cupped her cheeks. “You don’t need to apologize for this. We’ve been in trouble before and we’ll get out of this just like we always have.”</p><p>A loud bubble burst on the surface of the lava, causing Luc to cry. “Oh, it’s okay!” Veth knelt down and pulled him into a hug. “You’re safe. We’re all really powerful. We’ll take care of you, I promise.”</p><p>Yeza got down next to her. “Remember all the stories we heard from your mother? I know this is scary, but she’s really cool. She can take care of us.” He joined in on the hug.</p><p>Behind her, she heard someone say Caleb’s name. She looked over her shoulder to see Caduceus help Caleb out of his jacket. He looked just as out of it as he had when they first got to Nicodranas, if not more so. She should help him. He’s hurting. He needs her. She’d already failed to do enough for him earlier. Yes, she sat by him at the beach, but she wasn’t able to get him to talk. Then she made that stupid comment about Caleb using the Crystals. She couldn’t forget the terror in his eyes as she said that, as if she might strap him down herself and shove the crystals into his scars.</p><p>She forced herself to focus on the shaking boy in her arms. She could apologize to Caleb and give him all the support he needed later. Caduceus was taking care of him for the time being. Right now, she had to be with her husband and son.</p><hr/><p>Caduceus never felt shame for race. Despite the stares strangers would occasionally point his way, or the fact that he could count the other Firbolgs he’d met on his fingers. Even as Eadwulf asked him what he was in a thinly-veiled tone of disgust, he never felt any desire to be anything else. He still didn’t now, though his fur certainly wasn’t doing him any favors in this realm of fire.</p><p>Taking off his top layers of clothing helped. Still, he felt as if someone had roasted him above a fire. He helped get everyone’s jackets in a pile as a way of distracting himself. He noticed Caleb had yet to move since they’d arrived. He hadn’t even taken off his scarf.</p><p>“Is touch okay?” Caleb didn’t respond. No matter how many times Caduceus saw Caleb’s eyes as his mind retreated elsewhere for safety, he could never get used to it. “I’m going to help you cool off, okay? I’m taking off your scarf first.” He knew it was a bad idea to touch someone without their permission when they’re out of it like this. Still, he couldn’t risk Caleb having a heat stroke. He hoped voicing his movements would help.</p><p>Caleb remained still as he unwrapped the scarf from his neck. “You’re okay, Caleb. We’re all okay.” He took off the top jacket next. “None of us blame you. We’ll keep each other safe through this, as we always do.” He remembered standing between Caleb and the Laughing Hand, only for Caleb to save him moments later. They were a team. They looked out for one another no matter what.</p><p>As Caduceus went to take off Caleb’s second to last layer, Caleb grabbed his arms and muttered something in Zemnian. Right, he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt under this. Perhaps he wanted his arms covered. “It’s very hot right now,” Caduceus said. “If you have wraps, I can cover your arms with those, but you need to take this off. You’re very important to us. Can’t have you passing out.”</p><p>With a nod, Caleb took it off himself. “I’m fine. I’m… silly. I’m being silly. You…” He put his face in his hands. “I can’t think. I’m not thinking.”</p><p>“You don’t need to think. Breathing’s good for now.” In all honesty, Caduceus wasn’t sure how Caleb managed to do anything after everything that happened. “Come on, let’s sit down. I’ll get you some water.”</p><p>“Nein, no. I need to… I need hut. We need the hut.”</p><p>“You don’t need to do anything but look after yourself. You already got us to safety, and we’re all very grateful for that. Now you should take a second to breathe and do what you need to do to be okay.”</p><p>Caleb shook his head. He knelt on the ground and began taking spell components out of his jacket. Resigned to the fact that he can’t stop him, Caduceus sat down next to him and watched.</p><p>Ten minutes later, the dome appeared. Caleb nearly collapsed the second the last words left his lips, though Caduceus thankfully caught him in time. “Thank you, Caleb. Go ahead and rest.” He helped Caleb lay the rest of the way down. “This has been a long day, and you’ve been very strong. You can relax now. I’ll make us all some food and get some water out. Try not to worry anymore. We’ve got you.”</p><hr/><p>Jester almost jumped when she saw the dome suddenly surround them. She hadn’t even realized he’d been casting it. Once she saw Caduceus help Caleb, she felt free to focus all of her attention on her mother. She had managed to calm down significantly since they’d arrived.</p><p>“Thank you, Caleb!” She called over her shoulder. He didn’t react, but Caduceus smiled and mouthed ‘I’ve got him, don’t worry.’</p><p>“What is this?” Marion asked.</p><p>“Oh, it’s a dome thing Caleb can make. It stops bad guys from getting in and can keep us cool.”</p><p>Marion smiled weakly. “You... have some very powerful friends.”</p><p>“Yeah, so we’re definitely gonna be safe here. Then I can get us home tomorrow and everything will be alright, okay?”</p><p>“I know. I trust you, I’m just worried, too. I don’t know what you got wrapped up in, but it’s clearly something big and I want you to be safe.”</p><p>“I want you to be safe, too. I’m really sorry about all of this. I didn’t think… I don’t know. This is my fault. We’re gonna keep you safe and everything’s gonna be okay, but this wasn’t supposed to happen. I never thought I’d put you in danger like this.”</p><p>“Oh, sweetie…” Marion cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “I know this isn’t your fault. You and your friends are all doing really important things. I… I won’t lie to you and say I’m not frightened by this, but I’m not mad at you. Never at you.”</p><p>Jester gave her a quick hug before pulling her to the edge of the dome and sitting down. “Come on, let’s catch up. I don’t think I should talk about big things until everyone is here, but I can tell you other things.”</p><p>“I’d love to hear all about that, but can you tell me who’s chasing you first?”</p><p>“It’s… not really my story to tell.” She looked over at where Caleb laid on the ground. Caduceus sat next to him cooking something.</p><p>“Is he okay?” Marion asked.</p><p>“Um…” She thought back to the way Caleb broke down in panic after they escaped the sanitarium. The way he flinched when Veth pulled out the Crystals. The fact that Caduceus had to help him do something as simple as take off his jacket. “No, he’s not okay. Not right now. Today’s been a lot for him and I don’t know how to help. I feel like I’ve just been making it worse all day.”</p><p>“I’m sure you haven’t.” Marion wiped tears from her cheeks. “Today’s been stressful for all of us. You said we’re safe here, right?” Jester nodded. “Well then let’s take this chance to calm down. Once your other friends come out, we can all talk about what we need to do and help him as much as we can. I know you’re a good friend, my little sapphire. You’ll know what to do once you’re feeling better.”</p><p>“Why are you the one comforting me? You just left home and now you’re in this fire place. I should be helping you.”</p><p>“You did help me. I trust you and your friends to make sure we’re all safe. Now it’s my turn to help you.” She pulled Jester in for another hug. “I’m your mother. I want to make sure you’re happy and be there for you when you’re not.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too.” Marion let go and ran her hand through Jester’s hair. “Now, let’s catch up. I’d love to hear about your adventures.”</p><p>They spoke for a couple of hours. Jester told her all about TravelerCon, monsters they fought in Eiselcross, and other things that weren't related to the Nonagon or Trent. Caduceus passed food out to everyone before going back to Caleb. Although the conversation helped Jester take her mind off things, she couldn’t help but think about how much Caleb must be hurting.</p><p>“You can go talk to him if you want,” Marion said the fifth time she caught Jester staring at Caleb.</p><p>“No, I don’t want to leave you. And anyway, Caleb doesn’t like being crowded when he’s like this.”</p><p>“Maybe, but I tell you’re worried about-”</p><p>The Happy Fun Ball started glowing. Jester put in on the ground right as Fjord, Beau, and Yasha shot out of it. They landed on their backs a couple feet outside of the dome, except for Beau who managed to land on her feet.</p><p>“You made it!” Jester got up and ran to Fjord. She pulled him into a hug before he even had a change to sit up. “Are you okay? What happened?”</p><p>Beau helped Yasha to her feet as she responded, “We were able to just run for the exit. Turns out Twiggy really did kill that Dragon.</p><p>Fjord pulled out of the hug to look behind Jester. “Is everyone okay? How long were we gone?”</p><p>“Only a couple hours. And everyone’s fine.” She leaned into his ear and whispered, “Caleb’s not doing good. He’s barely said anything since we got here.”</p><p>He nodded solemnly. They got to their feet and hugged each other again. “Everything will be alright. We all have each other, remember that.” Jester found herself crying again and dug her face into his chest. “None of this is your fault, okay?”</p><p>“Thank you. I’m… I’m happy we’re okay. That was really scary.”</p><p>He kissed her on the cheek. “It was, but we made it through.”</p><p>Jester felt her cheeks heat up. As she tried to suppress the blush, she realized how hot she was. “Oh, what am I doing? You need to get in the dome. You’re probably really hot. Well, you’re always hot. I meant the other kind of hot. The bad one.” She pulled him into the dome and to her mother, who was smiling at them. “I wanted to wait until he got out to tell you.” She held up their interlocked hands. “We’re totally dating now.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s so exciting.” She looked him up and down.</p><p>Now it was Fjord’s turn to blush. “I-I promise I’ll be good to your daughter. I’ll never hurt her and-”</p><p>“I’m not worried about that. I know you’re a good guy.” She patted the ground next to her. “Now, sit down and tell me the story.”</p><hr/><p>After her mind finished adjusting to the fact that she was in yet another new dimension, Beau scanned the group for Caleb. He stared blankly at the sky. She’d bet anything he’d been doing that ever since they got here. “Sorry, Yasha. I need to…” She nodded in Caleb’s direction.</p><p>“Yes. Go. Help him.”</p><p>Beau kissed her and walked over to Caleb and Caduceus. “Hey, Cad. I wanna talk to him.”</p><p>He nodded. “He’s still out of it and I don’t know how to bring him back.”</p><p>“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”</p><p>He got up and moved to the side of the Dome where Yasha had sat down. Beau knelt down next to Caleb. “Hey, man. Can you hear me?” He didn’t respond. If she couldn’t see his chest moving, she might not have though he was even alive. “I assume Cad wasn’t able to get you to eat, then… Listen, I don’t know where you are right now, but you need to come back. This isn't’ health. Cry, punch something, punch <em> me </em>, I don’t care. Cutting yourself off from reality isn’t healthy.”</p><p>“This… This isn’t about me.” He spoke so quietly that Beau could barely hear the words.</p><p>“What do you mean this isn’t about you? You’re the one who just got chased across the continent by that abusive asshole. You’re allowed to be upset by that.”</p><p>“I put you all in danger. I… I should have gone with them.”</p><p>“Hey!” Without thinking, she took his hand. He thankfully didn’t react negatively to that. “We’re gonna have a nice, long talk about this once you’re back, but for now, none of us blame you. This isn’t your fault. We just want you to be okay and you’re obviously not right now. So, come on. You’re the one that says being vulnerable is easy. Let yourself be vulnerable here. We’re here to help.”</p><p>“I don’t know how… to come back.”</p><p>She rubbed his palm with her thumb. “Is touch helping?” He nodded. She carefully pulled him into a hug. “You’re okay here. We all love you and want you to be safe.”</p><p>She rubbed his back and whispered more reassurances. A few minutes later, she started to feel tears on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he muttered. She kept comforting him as he cried. While she hated to see him upset, it was better than knowing he was upset but refused to show it. Had she even seen him cry before? It didn’t feel like a victory, but she knew it was. Caleb would get better. She’d make sure of it.</p><hr/><p><em> Everyone is okay. You all made it out. </em> <strike><em> I didn’t deserve to make it out </em> </strike><em><strike> .</strike> We’re safe now. </em> <strike><em> I deserve to burn. </em></strike> <em> I just need to breathe. I’m okay. Everyone is okay. </em></p><p>He forced himself to leave Beau’s safe, grounding arms to see how the others were doing. Marion seemed to have calmed down with the help of Jester and Fjord. Yasha and Caduceus were having their own quiet conversation and Veth and Yeza had managed to get Luc to sleep. <em> See? They are all okay. </em>He couldn’t help but notice no one was looking at him. That could just mean no one happened to be focusing on him, but this felt deliberate. Like they wanted to give Caleb as much privacy as possible by purposefully avoiding looking their way. He’d felt so safe with Beau that he almost forgot he didn’t have proper privacy. He felt naked, seen in ways he was not ready to be seen.</p><p>“I… I owe them an explanation,” he said. “They deserve to know why they had to flee from their own homes.”</p><p>“You don’t owe anyone shit,” Beau said. She positioned herself between Caleb and the others. “I’m happy to have you back and don’t want you getting lost in your own head again ‘cause you think you owe them.”</p><p>“No, you… you don’t understand. I can’t worry about me. I…” What kind of grammar was that? Why must he always be incapable of forming complete sentences during moments like this? “I need to get this over with.”</p><p>With a sigh, she moved out of his way. “You know what you need better than I do. Just remember that none of us blame you. You don’t need to apologize.”</p><p>He almost laughed at that but stopped himself. That would only make her more concerned.<em> I don’t deserve that concern. </em> “I think we should talk about what’s happening,” he said loud enough to grab the other’s attention. He forced the words out despite every ounce of self preservation he had fighting against it because this was bad and <em> they’ll hate me and I deserve it. I deserve to burn. I- </em></p><p>“Oh, yeah, let’s do that,” Veth said. Everyone moved close enough to each other that they could talk without waking Luc. Beau and Yasha sat next to Caleb. He couldn’t shake the feeling that they were purposefully waiting for him to pull himself together before they started planning.</p><p>They began discussing what they will do the following morning. Caleb did his best to follow the conversation; he even managed to speak once to offer his notes on various teleportation circles to Jester and Caduceus when they shifted back to Wildemount. Other than that, he found himself rehearsing how he would tell Yeza and Marion about Trent. He knew this would be pointless. Whenever he took the time to plan out a conversation, his brain blanked when the time came to share.</p><p>“Now that we have that figured out, can I ask who we’re running from?”  Yeza asked. He looked over his shoulder at Luc. “I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not your fault and you’re doing your best to help us, but I want to know how much danger we’re in.”</p><p>Everyone’s eyes moved to Caleb. Just has he’d predicted, all thoughts poofed out of his head. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Beau. “We can tell the story if aren’t up for it.”</p><p>He locked eyes with Yeza, then Marion. “Do either of you know of Trent Ikithon?”</p><p>“I might have heard the name before, but I don’t know who he is. Just that he’s important,” Marion said.</p><p> Veth took Yeza’s hand as he said “He’s part of the Cerberus Assembly, right? I think I heard… DeRogna mentioned him a couple of times.”</p><p>“Ja, he, ah, he is the Archmage of Civil Influence. Marion, I’m not sure if you know what the Cerberus Assembly is. They act as advisors to the king and each have their own role in managing the Empire. I have a history with Trent.” He couldn’t bring himself to look up as he spoke. “He… When I was at the Soltryce Academy, he picked me and a few others to train personally. It was, ah, not good. Cruel. He did a lot of bad things to us, had us do a lot of bad things to others. He was training us to become powerful servants for the Empire. Wholly loyal both to the king and to him. When it came time for our final test, I… broke. He kept me in an… In a bad place for a long while. I escaped eventually and managed to get this.” He pulled out his amulet. “I’m sure what this does has already been explained to you. Then I met Veth, or Nott at the time. Then we joined the rest of the Nien. </p><p>“Recently we have…. We needed more amulets in order to accomplish what we must do up North.” Caleb wasn’t sure how much Yeza and Marion knew about that. If Veth and Jester hadn’t told them the world might end within the next week or so, it was not his place to do so. “We broke into one of Trent’s… places to steal more. Trent caught us there but we managed to escape. I worried for all of you, since he is very powerful and I… know the lengths he is willing to go to. He had followed us to Nicodranas, and you know what happened after that.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s awful,” Marion said. “I’m so sorry to hear those things have been done to you. This must be so hard for you.” Caleb looked up and saw tears in her eyes. Yeza looked equally horrified.</p><p>“Please don’t be sorry. It is my fault you’re in this situation in the first place. I’ve put you all in danger.” As expected, everyone responded at once.</p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“We aren’t mad at you.”</p><p>“You were worth the risk.”</p><p>“We’re okay now.”</p><p>Caleb did his best to block out their words. <em> They don’t blame me. Why don’t they blame me? It’s my fault. They should’ve left me. </em></p><p>“It’s my fault.” Jester’s words pulled Caleb out of his head. “I’m the one that told that guard about my mom, set up my temple in Yeza and Veth’s house. I don’t know why I did that. I knew things were dangerous and I could put people in danger, but I didn’t think about it and now this is happening. I shouldn’t’ve trusted that guard. He works for Trent and I know they do bad stuff. He was literally guarding a torture chamber. Why did I tell him about me?”</p><p>“That’s alright, Jester,” Fjord said. “Trent probably already knew about your mother, and we would’ve wanted to get Yeza and Luc out of there anyway. None of this is on you.” He looked over at Caleb. “The same goes for you. We knew about your history with Trent and decided to stay with you despite the risk.”</p><p>“The only person we should be blaming is Trent,” Yasha said.</p><p>“Yeah! He’s the one that hurt you in the first place,” Veth said. “He literally tortured teenagers. He’s a really bad man and it’s not your fault that bad man is trying to follow us.”</p><p>Caleb shook his head as guilt tore through him. They never understood, never blamed him. They were too nice to let him go. He was always too useful for them to be able to discard. He hurt them. Used them. This wasn’t fair. Beau squeezed his shoulder again, bringing him out of his head. He didn’t know if he should feel grateful for that.</p><p>“If I can ask, was that woman we saw right before leaving one of the children Trent trained?” Yeza asked.</p><p>Astrid. He hadn’t let himself think about Astrid. He couldn’t. She stood there, ready to cast Counterspell, and then let them go. <em> She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. She let me go. </em></p><p>He pulled himself back to reality with the sound of Veth’s voice. “-trained with Caleb. She helped us out before when we were stealing the-”</p><p>“She’s probably dead.” His voice came out in a monotone. Less emotion than he felt. Less emotion than the thought deserved.</p><p>“We don’t know that,” Caduceus said.</p><p>“She let us go. If she cast Counterspell, we wouldn’t have been able to go and he would’ve caught us. She didn’t. Now Trent knows and he doesn’t tolerate betrayal. She’s dead. Maybe Eadwulf is, too.” Caleb was unimaginably thankful for his friend’s actions, the emotion sickened by the knowledge that it would likely be their downfall. He was the one who made it out and yet they’ve done so much more for him than he has done for them.</p><p>“Caleb.” Yasha took his hand. “Don’t mourn until you know for sure.”</p><p>
  <em> They should’ve left me behind. Now we’re still being chased and it will never end and my new family will die too. Everyone always dies. Everyone except me. I’m not allowed that mercy. I have to carry on with the knowledge that I burn everything I touch. Why am I here? Why don’t they hate me. </em>
</p><p>“Are you okay? Do you need to lay down?” Yasha was too nice to him. Everyone was. She had to stop. Stop before he hurt her more.</p><p>“I should teach one of you how to teleport.”</p><p>“Oh, um,” Veth scrambled to respond to what was, from her perspective, a very sudden change of topic. “Sure, but why?”</p><p>“I… I feel I am holding you all hostage. You all either stay with someone who puts you in danger or you cannot get back to Eiselcross in time. If someone else knew how to teleport, you could have left me behind.”</p><p>“We wouldn’t’ve let you stay behind with them!” Jester said. “Why do you think that? We love you.”</p><p>“Do you really think so low of us that you think we would leave you behind like that because we don’t ‘need you’ anymore?” Beau asked. “We care about you. Not your spells. Not your usefulness. <em> You </em>.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Caleb,” Fjord said. “I understand where you’re coming from. You spent a long time being used by a man who only saw you as a tool. That wasn’t right. You are so much more than that and we should’ve told you that sooner. I said we needed you to get to Eiselcross because I thought you’d ignore every other argument. The truth is, that doesn’t matter to me. If you lost all of your spells tonight, I’d still want you around. I’d worry for your safety, but I wouldn’t care about you any less. I certainly wouldn’t hand you over to that monster because it’s convenient for me.”</p><p>Veth left Yeza to sit in front of Caleb. “I’m so sorry. When we first met, I only thought about how you could change me back. But that changed. You fixed me and I still care about you just as much. You are a person and I love the person you are. I’m sorry I don’t say that enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t better to you today. I was worried about my family and wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have brought up using the crystals. You don’t need to be more powerful for us. You are perfect as you are and I love you. No more thinking you should leave. No more sacrificing yourself. You belong with us.”</p><p>Caleb whipped tears from his cheeks. “Why am I… I…I shouldn’t be…” He choked down a sob.</p><p>“You’ve had a very stressful day,” Caduceus said. “You suppressed these emotions long enough. It’s safe here. You can let them out.”</p><p>Caleb pulled Veth in for a hug. He felt Yasha’s arms wrap around him as he sobbed. The others joined in, offering love and comfort. He was alone for so long and Trent did that to him. He ripped away everything Bren had before leaving him with nothing. No family. No safety. No reason to live. <em> I want to live. I want to be safe. I want to have a family. I don’t want to go back. I can’t go back. He’s going to kill me. I’m going to be alone again. </em></p><p>“He can’t have you,” Beau said. “We won’t let him.” For some strange, unjustifiable reason, Caleb believed her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! I greatly appreciate comments, constructive criticism included.</p><p>I have a lot of thought about everything that's going on right now, most of which is just incoherent screaming. I've very excited to see how things go and hope at least some of the love I give fanfic!Caleb is give to the real Caleb next episode. Lord knows he needs a good cry.</p><p>About the Happy Fun Ball, I'm surprised none of them brought up how Allura heard them through the mirror slowed down (or at least they joked about it when they were last in the ball). That's helped me more than any other example of how the ball works. If anyone is still confused, here's how I think of it: A slow, out of shape person (time in the ball) is racing the fastest person in the world (time outside the ball). By the time the out of shape person finishes one lap (an hour), the fast person has run 24 laps (a full day).</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>